idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just pynch a tree in the face
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
