bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
