You really coming over, don't trick.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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