They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
