He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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