I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
