If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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