That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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