I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize