question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
