I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize