don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
