No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
