you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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