I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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