So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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