it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
