His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
