I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
