he thought i was a dude.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
