I think my fart just growled at me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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