the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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