You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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