Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize