Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
