I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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