I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
