We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
