she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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