and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
