Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He did a backflip because drugs
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