everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
