She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Are we still banned from the library?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
