Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
