tell your sister to shave her snatch
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
