I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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