you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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