too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
