apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
