well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
