Me too!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
