i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
