we made out on top of his cat.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
