Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
