Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
