So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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