I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I wear drunk well.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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