this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
