they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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