a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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