I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
