She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
