maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
