Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
