i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
