OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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