So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize