Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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