Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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