why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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