she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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