Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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