O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
