Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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