I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
